| Mood: Reflective.
Music: Keane - Everybody's Changing.

Ironic that I should be listening to this song right now.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

As you may or may not know, I've been on a Ski Trip at Thredbo for the past week. I wouldn't say I have a fiery passion for snowboarding, but it is truly an exhilarating experience to glide down a mountain of snow with or without the company of others. I won't meddle into the details of the 4 days I was away but I will say that it was well worth the $615 (that I fundraised half of). Might I add that Nintendo DS is a saviour when it comes to enduring coach rides that last a good 7 hours. Mario Kart is a group favourite :)

So when you're away at the snows for a week, naturally you'd end up missing out on a lot of the things happening back at home. It's a good reality check when you find that the world does not revolve around your presence and that it continues orbiting the sun when you're gone. Post-camp, I felt a tad disoriented so I skipped yet another day off school due to an aching body. Today I resumed my schooling and gosh, I was slapped in the face with news left-right-and-centre. Love lives, work lives, home lives, school lives, almost-end of lives, and end of lives.. A lot happens in a week. So much news to take in I felt like I was going to burst! So after the natural high of good gossip, I felt withdrawn, felt the repercussions of being MIA.

Then I noticed that.. I didn't really try before this Ski Trip. I didn't try to keep up and genuinely know how people were. I was too self-absorbed with my own issues I ignored everyone elses. I've changed a lot, I don't self-disclose as much as I used to. I even avoid hanging out with mates sometimes cos I know I'd have to open up and share things. I hope it's just a phase, I do favour feeling close with other human beings. I haven't even blogged because I don't want to talk. What's to say? Too much. Far too much.

But just because I don't want to talk, doesn't mean others would feel the same. So I've learnt my lesson: it's time to show others I really care. Maybe you feel the same. Stuck in a hole you've dug yourself into. Reach out your hand, someone will take it. You are never alone.


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P.S. This was for Chrissy. And other loyal readers. Thank you for your support :)

Labels: Feelings, Lessons, Sorry