| I have finally come to my senses and dusted off my Bible today (The Message). I had the opportunity to hang out with Aspen, Chris and Duy after Bible Study for a brief catch-up. There was a lot that I learnt from them but the most important was what they had to say about God. That was when I realised that everybody feels a little disconnected sometimes but God will always be there patiently waiting. I felt the willingness to read the Word again and flipped to James as Chris and Duy recommended.

I like reading The Message because theres always a short and sweet introduction for each book of the Bible. For James, it goes like so:

When Christian believers gather in churches, everything that can go wrong sooner or later does. Outsiders, on observing this, conclude that there is nothing to the religion business except, perhaps, business - and dishonest business at that. Insiders see it differently. Just as a hospital collects the sick under one roof and labels them as such, the church collects sinners. Many of the people outside the hospital are every bit as sick as the ones inside, but their illnesses are either undiagnosed or disguised. It's similar with sinners outside the church.

So Christian churches are not, as a rule, model communities of good behaviour. They are, rather, places where human misbehaviour is brought out in the open, faced and dealt with.

The letter of James shows one of the church's early pastors skillfully going about his work of confronting, diagnosing, and dealing with areas of misbelief and misbehaviour that had turned up in congregations committed to his care. Deep and living wisdom is on display here, wisdom both rare and essential. Wisdom is not primarily knowing the truth, although it certainly includes that; it is skill in living. For, what good is a truth if we don't know how to live it? What good is an intention if we can't sustain it?

The idea that church is a holy place open for only the holy is highly pretentious. Why would Christians segregate themselves from the very people that God has created? I didn't know what to say the other day when I handed out flyers for an upcoming youth outreach at my church and had some handed back. When I asked why, friends would say that they weren't Christian therefore they weren't able to come. But 'outreaches' are out reaches to Christians and non Christians alike. Churches aren't an all exclusive meeting place. They are open and free for all to come in.

Back to my issue of 'displacement', I've found my place again. I can't explain what I felt and why I felt it, all I can say now is that when my relationship with God is weak, so are the rest of my relationships. I think I want to be a Christian counselor.

Hoping everyone is feeling alright, and if you're not all too well, you have the comfort of knowing that everybody gets a little down sometimes.

Why do we fall Master Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again.

Labels: Feelings, God

| Mood: Reflective.
Music: Keane - Everybody's Changing.

Ironic that I should be listening to this song right now.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

As you may or may not know, I've been on a Ski Trip at Thredbo for the past week. I wouldn't say I have a fiery passion for snowboarding, but it is truly an exhilarating experience to glide down a mountain of snow with or without the company of others. I won't meddle into the details of the 4 days I was away but I will say that it was well worth the $615 (that I fundraised half of). Might I add that Nintendo DS is a saviour when it comes to enduring coach rides that last a good 7 hours. Mario Kart is a group favourite :)

So when you're away at the snows for a week, naturally you'd end up missing out on a lot of the things happening back at home. It's a good reality check when you find that the world does not revolve around your presence and that it continues orbiting the sun when you're gone. Post-camp, I felt a tad disoriented so I skipped yet another day off school due to an aching body. Today I resumed my schooling and gosh, I was slapped in the face with news left-right-and-centre. Love lives, work lives, home lives, school lives, almost-end of lives, and end of lives.. A lot happens in a week. So much news to take in I felt like I was going to burst! So after the natural high of good gossip, I felt withdrawn, felt the repercussions of being MIA.

Then I noticed that.. I didn't really try before this Ski Trip. I didn't try to keep up and genuinely know how people were. I was too self-absorbed with my own issues I ignored everyone elses. I've changed a lot, I don't self-disclose as much as I used to. I even avoid hanging out with mates sometimes cos I know I'd have to open up and share things. I hope it's just a phase, I do favour feeling close with other human beings. I haven't even blogged because I don't want to talk. What's to say? Too much. Far too much.

But just because I don't want to talk, doesn't mean others would feel the same. So I've learnt my lesson: it's time to show others I really care. Maybe you feel the same. Stuck in a hole you've dug yourself into. Reach out your hand, someone will take it. You are never alone.


--
P.S. This was for Chrissy. And other loyal readers. Thank you for your support :)

Labels: Feelings, Lessons, Sorry

| Mood: Blog-hopping mood.
Music: Lisa Mitchell - Neopolitan Dreams

I feel incredibly lazy right now and instead of blogging a new entry, I've been browsing other blogs for inspiration. I didn't find inspiration to blog an essay, instead I stumbled upon a few bloggers who took this quiz.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.