Music: Steen's lovely mix cd.
Ah yes, the Awkward Silence. What constitutes an awkward silence, you ask? Have you ever experienced a slight uneasiness during a silence within a conversation? If so, you my friend have experienced an awkward silence.
They are quite unfortunate, but they happen. After experiencing a bad case of the Awkward Silence today and not knowing how to tackle it, I decided to turn to the Internet. Yeah, I'm a total dweeb. But the Internet is resourceful, we must utilise it!
I typed in 'awkward silence' into the Google search bar and the first few results were a recording label, the MySpace of an actual music band, an Urban Dictionary entry and a wikiHow link. 'Wiki' sounded familiar so I decided to click on it. I ended up spending quite some time browsing the articles, they discuss the best topics. You know those topics you think about but you don't really ask people about it cos you feel you're supposed to know about it already? (i.e. How To Fill Awkward Silences)
I also found out a really interesting fact, anyone ever heard of The Awkward Turtle?
Apparently it can either break an awkward silence or make it even worse. Whatevs, I like those odds! I am so trying it out next time. (Not that I'm guaranteeing future awkward silences, of course.)
After reading a dozen articles, I realised the main points were to Listen, Be Yourself, Respect The Other Person and Don't Act Creepy (haha, the last one came up a lot in the 'How To Treat A Girl Well' articles)
Speaking of How To Treat A Girl Well..
So, you want to know how to treat a girl? Every girl is different, so not everything you do for one girl will necessarily flatter another. But, there are some general things you can do to show a girl that you care.
Steps:
1. Remember that every human being wants to be appreciated. The more genuine and specific you are, the better.
2. Respect her future. The fact is, you might not end up being "the one". Don't do anything that will compromise her future because of something you did. If you aren't ready to be a father, don't work the relationship that way. If you don't like "used goods" then don't ruin her possibilities by turning her into them.
3. Let her talk about herself. If you say you want to get to know her better, then take over all the conversations, she will think you are self-centered, and not very interested in her after all.
4. Find out about her hobbies by asking questions about the kind of music she likes, observing her environment, and asking about clothes or pictures she might have.
5. Compliment her. Say that her hair looks nice or that shirt looks great on her. Then look in her eyes, and smile. Mean it. Keep it real.
6. Tell her she is pretty. No matter how average she thinks her looks may be, a girl will usually be flattered and pleased to know you think she is attractive. Say "You've got the most beautiful eyes/hair/skin/hands/etc. I've ever seen" and again - mean it!
7. Take a shower, put on deodorant, brush your teeth, and shave if you need to right before you see her - every time. Nothing makes a girl more uncomfortable than body odor and/or bad breath.
8. Listen! You need to be a good listener. That works with most of the girls, they need someone who will patiently listen and understand them! There is a huge difference between "Hearing" and "Listening" so make sure you are actively listening to her.
9. Let her know about things she might be interested in. This will show her you remembered and are thinking about her, and the things she likes.
10. Don't forget her special occasions - especially her birthday.
11. Be truthful, there is no need to lie. Being honest during the dating process means you respect her wants and needs, but you also recognize your own. If you find yourself always apologizing or trying to soothe her ruffled feathers, you need to honestly decide whether or not the two of you are a match. Treating a girl well also means recognizing this truth, and telling her in a way that hurts as little as possible - as soon as you know.
12. Make her feel comfortable. Relax and enjoy the time you spend together.
13. Cooperate to understand her point of view if you disagree. Repeat or reflect her feelings so that she knows you really heard her. If it makes sense to you, apologize for your actions that upset her. If you feel you were in the right, however, tell her you didn't realize your actions would hurt her and you're sorry to cause her pain, and that you'll have to consider more carefully next time. As mentioned earlier - keep it real. Do NOT promise never to do it again if you don't intend to keep that promise. If the thing that upsets her is a thing that is fundamental to your personality, you might not be able to change it to a degree that will make her comfortable, and that may mean you will eventually have to part ways.
14. Be real with her, and with yourself. This cannot be stressed enough. If you find yourself saying or doing something and thinking another, step back. Take a look at yourself, and ask yourself what you really want. Share that self with her, because she can and will see that you aren't everything that you say and do.
Tips:
• When you are at a restaurant, sit across from her at the table (unless the table is really long, in which case you should sit next to her). Allow her to sit facing the room, while you face the wall. This way you give the impression that you require no view other than her beauty.
• Some girls won't want you to pay their way; if that's the case when you offer, don't press the issue. It's the thought that counts, and she's sure to recognize your courtesy.
• Taking her to places that cost lots of money isn't necessary. Take her to the park, maybe buy ice cream on the way; that way you interact with her. If you do go to the movies, plan on going for coffee or dessert after (which means a light dinner, and less expense - bonus!) so that you can talk about what you just saw.
• Take things slow. Don't rush into an emotional or physical attachment just because you think you should.
• Look her directly in the eyes when you speak to her or when she is speaking to you. But don't be creepy about it. Staring is not considered attentiveness, it's considered weird.
• Pay careful attention to your manners at all times.
• Show that you are impressed by her, but don't forget to impress her with something different. Show you are different and sometimes crazy about life. Show her something that only you have got.
• Girls are constantly analyzing you, what you do, how you dress, dates you take them on and lots of other things. Take this into account and dress for the situation, as a good balance will keep them impressed. There's no point in dressing to impress, then being cheap about where you take her. It's like going to a nice restaurant in a tracksuit.
• Avoid the temptation to idolize her or put her on a pedestal. She is as human as you are, and the more willing you are to accept that, the less likely she is to disappoint you.
• Arrogant men don't get all the girls, confident guys do - and there's a huge difference. Women are less visually-oriented than men are, so even if you're not the most attractive guy in the world, your confidence will suggest that you're someone worth being with and your personality will back up that suggestion. Plus, if you are kind and warm when interacting with her and with others, she will see your value without your needing to have movie-star good looks. Just act & dress like a gentleman and everything should be sweet
• Opening doors and pulling out chairs for the girl is not old fashioned, it's cute! Any girl likes a boy who will treat her well.
• Hold her close to you and be gentle when it's necessary.
• Don't swear excessively or be crude. If you act immaturely, she is less likely to enjoy your company.
• Put yourself in her place and treat her accordingly. In other words, how would you wish to be treated, if you were her?
Warnings:
• Don't stutter, mumble, or say "Um" or "Uh"; that will make her think you're bored. Take your time and think about what you want to say before you launch into some rambling tirade.
• If she tells you about a personal problem, don't try to fix it. Just listen to her. (There are a few exceptions.) If she starts to cry, this is a big clue that she's really into you - it indicates that she trusts you enough to show she's vulnerable with you. A nice gesture here is to put your arms around her and just hold her. Don't say "Don't cry." Say, "Aww. It's going to be okay."
• If you exaggerate your compliments or are insincere, a girl can usually see through that.
• Make sure you're being yourself. If you act like a gentleman when you are alone with her, and then like a jerk when you're with your friends, she will catch on and you will run into trouble.
• Most importantly: Make sure she doesn't find out you tried to learn how to make her laugh reading articles on the Internet. At least not 'til your one year anniversary. By then she's definitely into you and minor things like that won't hurt.
Taken from: http://www.wikihow.com/Treat-a-Girl-Well
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I know the majority of these points are basic common sense but its easy to forget sometimes. Guys, take notes! And girls, I have just performed a good deed for all of us ;)
To Side Effects: Hope you guys take in this How To Treat A Girl lesson, I'll be quizzing you about it! Bazillion points to whoever successfully answers my questions :)
You know you love me,
xoxo
Labels: Awkward Silences, How To Treat Girls, Lessons, Youtube
