| Foreword.

My apologies for that bleak entry I posted a few days ago. I was not in a happy place and needed a way to express that bad state of mind. I've decided to delete that entry, so another apology to those who 'missed out.'

I'm also trying a new approach in the way I blog. From now on I won't focus on blogging about my day or what I want. I want to share things that I've learnt or realised, sometimes by recounting my day. Sometimes it'll be what I've learnt through God's word, sometimes it'll be something interesting on the back of a Libra pad liner. Please don't stop reading because I've mentioned God, I don't believe in being a 'converter' anyways. True Christians are those who choose to follow and love God by their own free will. It cannot be forced. I only aim to share my thoughts and reflect on what I've recently learnt, hopefully inspire someone. And it just so happens that I think the most inspiring being ever is God.

3:53pm. In my bedroom.

I had a silent epiphany on the car ride home. I was thinking about why I was so down as of late because of this one person. They didn't hurt me intentionally or anything. All this time I have loved them. But it's not the kind of love I thought it was. This love was self seeking and obsessive, for the other person always managed to make me feel good. I realised that I do not want a love based on the other person. Nothing good can come from that. It's conditional. So what 'love' should I be practicing? Unconditional love. Agape love. Selfless altruistic love. All this time I wanted a lover who could satisfy my temporary desires to be held and looked at affectionately. It was so wrong to seek such love. It was a love that could never last for it was based on emotions. Emotions fleet, they are ever changing. Something as simple as the weather could change it entirely. However, unconditional love is not based on emotions.

So now I see that person as a brother, whom I can love unconditionally and expect nothing in return. For such love is so rare in today's society. Loving others in a self sacrificing manner is absolutely divine. In both contexts. Saint Therese once said, "It is easy to love someone who loves you, but it is divine to love those who are difficult to love." God loves us unconditionally. His love is such a divine love, that we could only hope and try to express. It can be difficult because humans aren't perfect and will therefore struggle to exercise this perfect love. Because when you love another unconditionally, you won't be satisfying your materialistic needs. You might not even be unconditionally loved back. Nevertheless, you will still find that it is rewarding. You will feel that you are doing some good in this world. And have you not always wanted another brother or sister? I can now honestly say that my friends are like family to me. (Lame pun)

I feel freshly renewed. I'm a New Soul. I don't expect you to be inspired to love unconditionally but this is the kind of love that really does last forever. It will at least last til your loved one passes away. It exists because they exist, not because they make your heart go boom or because they look real cute. Eventually even the heart stoppers won't make your heart stop anymore and their apparent cuteness will fade with age. So this is what I learnt today. When I think about it, love really is everywhere. Today I got a present for my upcoming birthday from my Youth pastor and his wife. They obviously gave it to me because it's my birthday, but they didn't mean to give it because they think I'm cute or because I 'deserve' it. It's because I am me and I exist and they love me. And before my mum and dad and siblings left to go to some crazy Asian house party, my mum didn't tell me what kind of food is available because she wants to make me fat or get rid of left over food. No, it's because I exist and I'm her daughter and she loves me. Look around you, sit and think: Where can you find love today?

For those who want to know more about this love and happen to have a Bible, the most popular (love) passage in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 13.

You know I love you,
xoxo.

Labels: God, Quotes