| Mood: Reflective.
Music: Keane - Everybody's Changing.

Ironic that I should be listening to this song right now.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

As you may or may not know, I've been on a Ski Trip at Thredbo for the past week. I wouldn't say I have a fiery passion for snowboarding, but it is truly an exhilarating experience to glide down a mountain of snow with or without the company of others. I won't meddle into the details of the 4 days I was away but I will say that it was well worth the $615 (that I fundraised half of). Might I add that Nintendo DS is a saviour when it comes to enduring coach rides that last a good 7 hours. Mario Kart is a group favourite :)

So when you're away at the snows for a week, naturally you'd end up missing out on a lot of the things happening back at home. It's a good reality check when you find that the world does not revolve around your presence and that it continues orbiting the sun when you're gone. Post-camp, I felt a tad disoriented so I skipped yet another day off school due to an aching body. Today I resumed my schooling and gosh, I was slapped in the face with news left-right-and-centre. Love lives, work lives, home lives, school lives, almost-end of lives, and end of lives.. A lot happens in a week. So much news to take in I felt like I was going to burst! So after the natural high of good gossip, I felt withdrawn, felt the repercussions of being MIA.

Then I noticed that.. I didn't really try before this Ski Trip. I didn't try to keep up and genuinely know how people were. I was too self-absorbed with my own issues I ignored everyone elses. I've changed a lot, I don't self-disclose as much as I used to. I even avoid hanging out with mates sometimes cos I know I'd have to open up and share things. I hope it's just a phase, I do favour feeling close with other human beings. I haven't even blogged because I don't want to talk. What's to say? Too much. Far too much.

But just because I don't want to talk, doesn't mean others would feel the same. So I've learnt my lesson: it's time to show others I really care. Maybe you feel the same. Stuck in a hole you've dug yourself into. Reach out your hand, someone will take it. You are never alone.


--
P.S. This was for Chrissy. And other loyal readers. Thank you for your support :)

Labels: Feelings, Lessons, Sorry

| Mood: Blog-hopping mood.
Music: Lisa Mitchell - Neopolitan Dreams

I feel incredibly lazy right now and instead of blogging a new entry, I've been browsing other blogs for inspiration. I didn't find inspiration to blog an essay, instead I stumbled upon a few bloggers who took this quiz.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

| Mood: Appreciative.
Music: Mute Math - Noticed.

First and foremost I would like to extend my gratitude to those who have sent comments of support regarding my blogs. Thank you for your kind words, they well and truly make my day.

Have I abandoned my blog? Certainly not. I've just been making the most of my two week holidays since they are 'the last real holidays I'll have for the next year and a half'. Everyone is making Year 12 seem so scary, as if it were a stage that sucks the life out of you. But really, high school in general will be something you'll miss when you're older so I'm not going to let myself be the victim of crazy HSC rumours.

I spent the first week of my holidays at a camp called Camp UiC (Unity in Christ). Along with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ from several churches, we accommodated at The Venue, Bellambi for 4 days and 3 nights. It was a life-changing 4 days. I've bonded so well with a group of people I see but never usually talk to. I'm extremely grateful to have been to such an amazing camp with such a great bunch of people. But alas, the experience would not have been complete without Diana William's powerful sermons. Based on the theme of 'Unity', Diana spoke of working together as a group despite our differences, also known as 'unity in diversity'. We are unique, 'fearfully and wonderfully made' (Psalm 139), but we are made as separate parts of a body to work as a body, together (1 Corinthians 12).

But it wasn't what she said about everyone as a group that deeply touched me. Not to say that it was all rubbish, but her first talk made me want to cry. It was an eye-opener. The talk was titled, 'You Are Unique' and was based on Psalm 139 - click on link to access the passage.

St Augustine observed in his Confessions:

‘Men go abroad to wonder at the height of mountains, the vast compass of the oceans, the circular motion of the stars... yet they pass by themselves without wondering’.

Take time to really examine yourself. Look at your hands, for instance. One hand alone contains 19 bones and 70 muscles. It is one of the most intricate parts of your body. No human has and ever can produce a replica as amazing as the human hand alone. 'The hand that can hammer, thrust, grasp and crush is the same hand that can thread a needle, play a flute and insert a pipette a fraction of a millimetre in diameter into the axon of a squid.' It can pluck, it can peel, it can knead, it can hold, it can feel. Have you ever noticed how fantastic your hands are? God has made us so wonderfully, so perfectly yet we take our bodies for granted.

And that's just the hand. Did you know that no fingerprint is the same? Isn't that awesome? So much thought was put into the making of our very being. Do you not feel loved? Do you not feel amazing? How wonderful it is to be alive! To have been created! And we aren't here for decoration, either. Don't get me started and all our skills and talents and just the 'mere' ability to think. There is so much we can do, feel, taste, hear, speak.

We are unique. We are special. There is a reason we live. You may not have found your calling yet, but I have. I am proud to say that I live for God but that's not all. He has blessed me with abilities and skills. I do love writing but that's only because I love learning. What's the point of writing when you have nothing to write about? Through learning everyday, I have the reason to write, to obtain a blog of thoughts. Isn't the brain great? But maybe my calling isn't to be a professional writer. Maybe I want to be a psychologist. I learnt that comfort is not by any means making another 'feel better'. Comfort lies within empathy. But that's another blog topic.

I'm rambling again. But all I wanted to share was what I've learnt a week ago. The second week of holidays wasn't as eventful, though I did go to an all-you-can-eat buffet at Star City. It was fabulous! I'm pretty sure the rest of the week were my 'sloth days' - you know, staying in and watching movies on end, eating ice cream and whatnot. I love the holidays :)

I hope you feel special and unique!

You know you love me,
xoxo.

Labels: God, Lessons, Lovely truths

| I can relate to 2 songs at the moment: (Refer to 2 posts below)

| And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be okay,
Ya I try to believe you,
But I don't

When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today
Today
Today
Today
Today

I don't know how to feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just do

Gimme a little time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
Not today
Today
Today
Today
Today

I don't know how to feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

And I know I'm not ready,
Maybe tomorrow

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be okay,
Yeah I try to believe you,
Not today
Today
Today
Today
Today

Tomorrow it may change

Labels: Awkward Truths, Feelings, Music, Outings

| This is a crazy world
These can be lonely times
It's hard to know who's on your side
Most of the time

Who can you really trust
Who do you really know
Is there anybody out there
Who can make you feel less alone
Some times you just can't make it on your own

If you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am

If you have broken dreams
Just lay them all on me
I'll be the one who understands
So take my hand

If you reach emptiness

You know I'll do my best
To fill you up with all the love
That I can show someone
I promise you you'll never walk alone

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am

Everybody needs somebody who
keep a heart and soul in two

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am
Here I am

Labels: Feelings, Music

oooh, what a feeling in my soul
love burns brighter than sunshine ☼